Tis the Season for Reflection and Mayhem

Dear Santa,

I would say that I've been a good girl this year, except you and I both know that it's a lie. I haven't been a good girl in a few years, at least, so let's just skip the false pretences and acknowledge that I've been trying, okay? I left that world behind. The one where I was bad. I was promised a fresh start, after all, but here we are, and it doesn't seem you held up your end of the bargain.

Or I should say, at least, you have a really interesting sense of a humour. When last I bothered to check in with you, my almost-maybe boyfriend's house had just been burned down after Israel killed Loki all because I played a stupid prank at school. Yeah. I haven't forgotten whose fault that is. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't blame myself for what happened to him. If there's one thing I've learned in my brief history with things that are... different.. it's that they're not all bad, and some of them are even good. I don't think Loki deserved what happened. And I know Israel feels the same.

But as the semester closed out and we all went on our merry to get our Ho Ho Ho's on, I couldn't help but feel that the world had changed. I went to sleep that night knowing the world was a dark, scary, and twisted place where gods went to high school with reawakened pharaohs and fallen angels. And when I woke up, Vincent was down the hall in a guest room and my neck was still branded. None of it disappeared. Just Loki's body.

It turns out Mom didn't really plan on celebrating Christmas this year. Not really surprising given last year, but I didn't think she'd want to just skip out on the entire holiday all together. So her and Dad have packed their things and headed south like the geese I see around here. While I was offered (and expected) to go, I opted to stay home, instead. Mom wouldn't even consider staying. She's been acting a little strange, almost like... well... maybe it's just getting harder for her to accept.

I guess that means it'll just be Vincent and I over the holidays. I haven't really told Mom or Dad anything. I figured why poke a sleeping dragon or dog or something like that. It's probably just better for everyone if they think he's just a friend. A rich friend with a good name who lost his house in a terrible tragedy. But at least my neck is healing pretty nicely. And somehow I passed my exams and midterms. I'll chalk it up to being good at cramming and just leave it at that.

So Santa, I'm interested to see what you'll bring me for Xmas. A pony? A "cure" for Vincent? Some burn cream? A way to get Loki's voice out of my head whenever I fall asleep? A one-way ticket to the looney bin? Honestly, I'd just settle for a little peace and quiet. And maybe a kitten. The house is so quiet now.

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In Which Everyone's True Colours Show

Dear Diary,

It feels like weeks have happened in a few short hours. I had found out the guy I was into was cursed by some devil and had had me linked to him and his devil. That the guy who had asked me on a date was a spider. That evil existed. That everyone here was some sort of monster. That nothing would ever be the same again.

Then Israel and Chantelle show up and apparently Loki's out for blood with that Robin guy. My blood. As in he's going to kill me for what I did at the party. It's another moment where everything feels crazily surreal and all the ... nonhumans... start talking about what's going to happen like I'm not there. Which works out because I feel like I've checked out and into an insane asylum.

Next thing I know we're in Vincent's car and headed to the church. I don't bother to ask questions. I just go. Because at this point a god, an angel, and Vincent, who's made a deal with the devil, as far as I can tell.. or a dragon... are all telling me that I have to come with them. I mean, even if I didn't want to go, it didn't really seem like I would have a choice. I suddenly missed just dealing with Clarissa and Heather. Mean girls I can handle. But this?

The church was cold. Maybe I was just scared. But it felt cold. Israel takes us to the back to show us this crazy weapon horde he has, seriously. Like something out of Buffy. And then they gear up. This overwhelming sense of panic and confusion keeps swelling up inside of me and finally I just ask them why I can't just talk to Loki. I mean, it's Loki. Sure, he's a spider, but he's still Loki, right? He can't be all evil and crazy?

They laugh and say he's a little crazy because Chantelle drove him that way. I can't help but feel a bit of sadness when they say that. I shouldn't have done what I had done. Guilt is a shitty emotion and one I'm all too familiar with. So I keep asking if I can just talk to him. I'm about to just try to sneak away when Chantelle is working with the sound system and Vincent is playing with some bag that he brought with him, when Israel jumps down from the bell tower (like a creep) and says they're here.

So I grabbed the microphone and pleaded with Loki to forgive me. I told him that I know he's not a monster. That I know he's better than this. He falters. Enough that I thought it might work, and then he just seemed to shake it off. And this awful sinking feeling crept into my stomach and I felt like I was going to puke. I guess it's a new type of fear. I've never really feared for my life before. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I felt my hands clutch Vincent. Who knew twenty four hours could make you cling to someone you barely knew like they were your saviour?

Then everything else happened so fast. Ardath came in with Robin and was talking to Vincent and Israel. They kept asking him not to kill me, but Robin said he needed to kill me because he made a deal with Loki. And then Vincent attacked him. Robin, that is. They both ended up stabbing each other. I felt my throat tighten as blood came from both of them. But what could I do? Ask them not to? Like that would make a difference.

And then Loki came in, screaming, and made an attack at me but couldn't quite reach me in time before Israel interfered and nearly sliced him in half with a sword. I saw Israel crying as he did it. I can't understand why any of this really happened. It was a joke at a high school party. And now Loki's dead. Even if he was a monster.

Robin, I guess, is freed from whatever promise he made and didn't have to kill me after all. The mass horde of spiders is taken control by Chantelle who told them to be free. Vincent and Robin are still ready to fight but I tried to pull Vincent away, and he seemed to listen when I asked him to stop. Then Chantelle called him over to the police scanner.

I guess Loki had the SWAT team ready to sweep the church and Vincent used Samael (the dragon.. demon.. thing) to call them off of us. But in return his house was burning down. Including his stepmom and his bother and sister. He says they weren't blood family, but... he was pale. I held him close and then said I'd go with him to his house.

But there was nothing left. The book wasn't even there either. So either it burned or something took it.

Thus ended my first semester of school in Canada.

WTF Canada?

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In Which The Dragon Sinks Its Claws In

Dear Diary,

Of course I said yes. Somewhere, deep inside of me, I did trust him. He had stood in the way of Loki. He had gotten me out of there. He had warned me about the Robin guy, weirdly enough. And now that I knew Loki was a monster, I wondered what else was happening in the world that I needed to know. I wondered what else he knew.

Once I said yes, Vincent said he had to tell me some things. But the conversation took a weird turn when he started asking if I wanted to be protected, forever. He said he wouldn't let anything happen to me. That if I trusted him and did what he asked, then I'd be safe. We'd be safe. He said it would hurt. He said it would make sure that things like Loki wouldn't hurt me. And I believe him. So I said okay.

He showed me this dragon tattoo on his back, and explained that it gave him power. It gave him almost anything he wanted, but there was a price. I really didn't ask questions. The world felt so surreal. I figured we'd get in the car and head to some weird parlour. Honestly, I was ready to dye my skin blue and call myself Violet if it meant I'd be safe. A tattoo wasn't a big deal as long as I would be safe. The cold fear inside of me felt like it might start creeping away if what he said was true.

And then he took out a piece of metal and began to heat it up. Sure. He was going to brand me. I had already agreed at this point, but I wasn't really ready to be burned. Still, I didn't back out, and somehow the burn on the back of my neck is proof that I let him do it. I'm not going to lie. I hope to hell I can trust him.

So a brand and a few long glances later, Vincent and I began to head to his house. Where I guess he had a few more things to tell me, or show me. Honestly, I thought it might've been a bit of a play to get me to his house, but when we got there, he was actually a perfect gentleman. His house was a mess. It's like his family didn't ever bother to pick up anything.

But he walked me up to this study with a kitchenette and little cot. Honestly, I think he sleeps there. Not at all what anyone thinks the Godfrieds are like. Once in there he shows me this old book, in some old language I'm not quite familiar with, and begins to tell me this story about his ancestor being a Knight Templar. All of his men were killed so he made a deal with a demon.. dragon... thing... to get revenge and live on. But he was old and he didn't survive long, and the curse passed on to his first born son.

Apparently the dragon tattoo will keep growing and eventually kill him. His mother died in childbirth giving birth to the first born son, and that's just how things go in his family. He kind of laughed when I bothered to ask if anyone had tried to cure them. It's been 700 years. I guess they've tried. But still. He shouldn't belong to some creature. Which I guess I now belong to too. The brand on the back of my neck burns every time I think of it.

Vincent then offered me some tea and asked about me. I might've asked a few questions about everything. I found out that Israel is an angel... as in God and heaven and what not. That Loki is a spider, which was somewhat obvious. That Ardath was an ancient pharaoh or something. And that some girl named Chantelle is some sort of ancient god. I'm not really sure how the angel feels about that. I mean Israel.

I guess I told him a bit about myself. I can't say I told him the truth though. I told him that I had a nice normal family. That I was an only child. That life was pretty good. I guess compared to having a time bomb on my back, just waiting to kill me, it is a pretty normal life. But I can't tell him what happened. It's just better to not. Not right now, anyways.

And then as we kept getting closer, and I thought things might start getting a little more.. intimate... a knock came at the door. Vincent took out a dagger and told me about some secret staircase. I don't know when this became normal. It was Israel at the door and some girl, Chantelle. The god. Who told me my tiny mind couldn't handle the truth about what she was.

I think she was right.

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In Which A Spider's Love Bite Only Hits Air

Dear Diary,

Sometimes, when you're waiting or bored, time seems to slow to an incredible crawl. I find this also applies when you're terrified. There was a moment where I made a choice. You know how much I love saying that. But I do truly believe that we know those moments, those defining seconds where we make a choice that might change our lives. When I went to Tobias to make that stupid video about Loki, I knew I was making one of those choices. But I still said yes.

As I stood there and watched the TV play the excellent video, designed purely to knock Loki down a few pegs, I felt like there was a precipice I was standing on. The world's mysteries were about to open up. I had no idea how much they would devour me. His anger and his rage just kept brewing and then there was a monster there.

The next few minutes just seemed to come to a slow boil and torment me. I barely remember grabbing my phone, dialling 911 for help. I can't tell you if I spoke to a man or a woman. I remember Vincent moving in front of me, pushing me back, and talking to the spider-creature-thing. At some point, my phone was taken from me and I remember being on the floor with Clarissa and Heather.

Then suddenly the world began to move again and be faster and there was Israel coming down from his women problems only to fall over himself, pants down and all. The Loki-monster began to laugh, a grotesque sound, and slowly change back. A car door slammed somewhere. People were still tangled in weird web things. Everything was moving and I stood up. I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I've never felt terror like that. Not really. Not even when... well, that doesn't matter.

Vincent was in front of me and asked if I wanted to leave. I could hear my mom's voice or maybe I saw her. I don't really remember how, but I knew my mom and some chick had shown up and it was either try to talk to her and tell her we had to move or get out of there. Maybe it was the way he looked at me, or the way he had just tried to protect me, but I knew I could trust him. I knew he just wanted me safe.

We got into his car and just drove. I didn't know where we were going. Why would I? I've lived here long enough to know very specific places and nothing else. But I could barely think of what had happened because, whatever it was about him, I could only really wonder why Vincent was being so nice and why he had been talking to the Loki-monster like he knew him. Like this was normal. Like this was just life in Canada.

He went really quiet, lost in his head, I guess. If I had known him better maybe I would've asked what he was thinking about. I might have talked to him about what had happened. But the silence was heavy with questions I didn't want to ask yet, and it was comfortable, I guess. Because once you ask one question you can't stop. They'll just keep coming.

When we finally got to some park, we got out and he opened the trunk and then asked me a question that I think might have changed my life.

He said to me "Do you trust me?"

And I don't know why. But I said yes.

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Day Two: Or in which a party goes wild

Dear Diary,

Next time I suggest we sneak into the house of a class mate and try to find his dirty secrets, please remind me to shut my mouth and smile instead. Clarissa, Heather, and I all decide we'll impose pictures or film into a music video of Loki as a prank and ruin his social standing. Honestly, this is mostly so I can peg it all on Clarissa and bring her down a few notches, but hey, who's counting, right?

So we easily sneak into the oldest, creepiest house in town and unlike my friends who decide to punk out, I wander on upstairs. Either I'll find a laptop, a diary, or at least masturbatory material, all of which make for a decent, if not juicy laugh.

Interestingly enough, there's a bunch of people on the bed, all really creepy, who finish each other's sentences and keep coming toward me. I happen to take a photo, because it's the craziest thing I've ever seen, and then get out with the girls. Next day I talk to Tobias, the tech kid, and orchestrate a great video with him.

Naturally we choose to throw a party. Vincent offers to find the booze and even though I say I owe him a favour, he seems to say we're even, although won't say what I did to make us even. Weird? But nothing compared to the "siblings" Loki has.

School becomes uneventful. And then the night of the party arrives. Vincent shows up early (as I asked him to) with the booze and some other guy named Robin. Robin asks me for a tour, and Vincent seems to think this is a bad idea, saying I promised him something, and ensures that he comes with me when I show Robin around. He seems nice enough, if a little intense.

Party starts up, and Israel actually shows up with Trish after Meg and him had it out earlier that day according to the gossip. I tell them to go upstairs so I'll talk it over with Meg, but actually I ask Vincent what he wants to have happen. He says to send Meg up when they're in a good spot for her to walk in on. So I do, Meg looks awful and of course walks upstairs pissed.

Then Tobias plays the video and something snaps in Loki. Seriously. He goes absolutely fucking crazy. And here's where things go really weird. He... well. He turns into a spider.. thing, and webs a bunch of people at the party. People are screaming and Vincent steps in front of me and Loki's screaming at me, asking if I could love him... wtf just happened? 

Day One: Or when I get stuck making Pad Thai with the crazies

Dear Diary,

Today I went to my new private school. It was crazy. The end.

I wish. Let's see. While it has some of the most attractive guys to offer, I can't say even one of them was normal. Let's talk about bachelor number one.

Israel. Weird name, right? So Israel looks like he just walked out of heaven, all muscles and staring eyes. Seriously. Those old paintings of the muscled archangels striking down dragons or something from art history... that's kind of what he reminds me of. He apparently doesn't like small talk (who does), and honestly, it's probably because he sucks at it. He was dating a girl named Meg, who seems sweet, and therefore, likely stupid. She walked icily away when she saw Israel and I in the hall together.

Loki. Yet another check on the weird name list. He was another really good looking guy, who seemed a little too eager and was just a little creepy. Like that weird hair on the back of your neck when someone's watching you creepy. I'm sure he's a nice enough guy, but he tends to come on a little strong. I haven't heard if he's seeing anyone, and given he promptly asked me for a date once class was over (which I might've accidentally said yes to), I'm guessing he's single. Although he seems to have some issue with Heather and Clarissa, the two most popular girls. At least I'm in the right crowd.

Next we have the elusive and mysterious Ardath. I can't say I got to talk to him much, other than to see him walking around looking busy. He shared a few words with the other guys, so I'm guessing he's wealthy and, likely, is dating several people at once. He just seems the type. My best guess is that he's the current contender for school jackass.

Finally I met, or rather, re-met, Vincent. I know his little sister (who he promptly said wasn't his sister) Miranda from the Yacht club last year. While I remember him as being pretty aloof and busy last year, now he seems distracted and honestly pretty damn exhausted. And to top it all off, he pretty much said he cooks because his family doesn't spend money on a staff. I have it on good authority they spend it on drugs. I kind of feel sorry for the guy.

In the girl's corner we have ever popular Clarissa, who seems to be the raking Queen Bee of the busy hive. Beautiful, dangerous, and with a mean sense of humor, I like her. She makes me laugh. And let's be honest, she's from Scarborough. There isn't anything she can do I haven't seen happen five times in Prep school. Small towns.

Next we have Heather. I don't know what her deal is, but she hovers around Clarissa like a good drone worker. She seems to have some issue with Loki, much like Clarissa, but that's how the hive works.

Meg. Former and possibly current girlfriend of the awkward Israel, she's kind and nice and pretty enough. I think she wants Israel to fix whatever he fucked up, but hey, it's not my business, right? Israel seems lost on the issue, like a puppy who's been kicked a few times. According to Loki, he has a disability. See. I told you Meg was sweet.

Finally, and barely worthy of notation, there's Trish. Some girl who spends more times in shop class than in any advanced courses, from what I gather. Last spotted she was seen being cuddly with Israel. Boy gets around.

I'm in Health and Nutrition with all these people. Except Trish, obviously. I spent the afternoon talking with Vincent about his bizarre family troubles, mostly having Israel and Loki fill in the blanks while Vincent spoke. Either way, something has definitely changed him, and while I didn't know him well before, I'll say he's much sweeter now. And apparently has some new tattoos.

Clarissa and I had a brief exchange during the class, where barbs were thrown and we both knew where we stood. It resulted in a lunch invitation and here I am, buzzing with the hive. I informed my girlfriends of the impending doom of a date with Loki, and we decide, in true New York fashion, to fuck with him for taking advantage of the new girl. And oh, the things we saw. 

Scarborough: Formally known as Butt-Fuck Idaho

Dear Diary,

Four months ago my mother was offered a job as head over the NICU at SickKids Hospital in Toronto. This is in Canada. This is not okay. Soon as Summer hit, my parents sat me down and told me the awful truth: That not only were we leaving New York behind, but that we were moving to the Greater Toronto Area, known formally as the GTA. We would trade our uptown home, my friends, their friends, our reputation, our staff, and our zip code all to further my mother's career.

Fast forward those four months minus a week and we arrived in the most well known street Scarborough had to offer. A long drive in for mom every day, but she wanted us to be near a good school where I could receive a hopeful education. Apparently downtown Toronto wasn't quite good enough and somehow we landed here.

Welcome to Canada. Leave your sanity at the border.