Thursday 19 May 2016

In Which I've Learned to Waltz

Dear Diary,

A decade. That's how long it took me to come back here and read about what a fucking useless person I was. There's nothing like reading your old bullshit and realizing "Fuck, I was one hell of a teenage tragedy trope." Maybe this doesn't happen to everyone. And maybe I'm still bitter about it all. Ten years isn't long enough to get over any of it.

Boston is a shit hole of a supernatural city. I've carved out a small space, a place where assholes won't bother me. Not since the last time one of them broke into the apartment and a great big mess was made. That hasn't happened in awhile.

I don't know why I'm writing in here again. Maybe because my spidey-sense is tingling and I can feel that some fucked up shit is headed my way in a way I can't explain, or maybe because therapy told me that writing shit down can help. Never helped before, mostly. It did make me feel less alone.

It was 3 am when this latest adventure started. I mean, it started a decade ago, but let's not talk about what happened between Samael and now. Let's pretend I'm just an average hunter in Boston going to med school and there's nothing complicated going on at all with me. Thanks. I appreciate it.

3 AM. Curtis, my roommate and sometimes, well, fuck buddy, called me because he had an elaborate version of a bad dream. I grabbed the truck and we headed to the random location that his quest box appeared at. Maeve (local fae bitch) was there, bleeding out on the ground, along with another hunter I've heard of in passing. We're very rare. So we hear of each other pretty easily.

Half an hour later we were in the hospital and Maeve was making me promise I'd come back. Derek, a local human whose ass I saved a month or so ago, is one of the nurses there. He was tending to her and the hunter, keeping them out of the lime light of the ER. And well, he's pretty flirtatious. I mean, I assume he is. It takes someone with balls of steel to flirt with me now-a-days. And he did. Maybe it's just because he's human.

Anyways, that outstanding weirdness aside, I got a text from Merov, a playboy millionaire. Normally I'd say fuck it and let Batman sort his own shit out. But he keeps giving me the weapons I need to kill bad shit in the city, and really, you can't ignore when your sugar daddy (ew, no, not like that) sends out an SOS on his phone. Before Curtis could stop me, I promised Maeve I'd be back and off I went.

The penthouse was in flames. Tenzin was coming out of the building. He's a scam-artist kinda-wizard with a penchant for demon troubles. Troubles I regularly help him with. The little fucker was running the fuck away from the scene. Not surprising, but really? C'mon.

Merov was on top of the opposite building, threatening somebody or something. I couldn't really see. He seemed to have everything in hand. Really I just took out the fuckers that were running away. Rule 25: Never leave survivors. I mean, in theory you want people to know you're a badass. You don't need survivors to share that story. You just need gore. And remains. There wasn't time to make a scene, so the vamps bit it with the bow. Fish in a barrel.

Batman wandered down with a rocket launcher and told me the Amber Vamps needed us to pay a visit. We argued briefly about this, mostly because I don't take sidekicks and Merov wanted to be a side kick. He pretty much pushed until it was either I kick his pretty ass or I let him go with me. I didn't want the Amber Vamps to have time to prepare. And Merov had the rocket launcher. So he got in the truck and off we went.

The Amber Vamps are (well... were) lead by Sultan Kazzam, an incompetent asshat of a vampire who annoys the fuck out of me. I'm pretty sure he thinks he's a showcased magician based on how he dresses, but I guess immortality rots the brain. I've yet to meet a clever vampire who lived.

On our way Curtis called. God love him. He's always trying to save everyone. Everyone. Good, bad, the dudes with the guns. Doesn't matter. He wants peace. Badly enough he's willing to throw himself into the middle of danger to do it. I guess there were kidnap victims or hostages or something with the Amber Vamps and he was gonna get them out. I told him to hurry up. I had no idea what was going to happen and I couldn't lower my guard to worry about a bunch of humans. Worst hunter ever right? I'm no Buffy.

The warehouse was a great target for the rocket launcher. I got out of the truck and grabbed it to start loading. Merov started talking about going in there and saying hi. It's like he actually doesn't understand battle strategy. Rule Number 8: Shoot first. Shoot everything. No questions. There's no need to announce yourself when you have a rocket launcher. Even the vamps knew how to use it on Merov.

Another argument later I'm walking towards the warehouse with my holy knives and a pretty pissed off look on my face. Why the fuck Merov wants to say hi before we slaughter these assholes, I don't even know. Probably some sick rich boy fantasy. Whatever. Let him get his ya-yas off if that's what it takes. Stupid asshat. I called Curtis and put the phone in my pocket. It was time to dance.

A head rolls as we walk in. Guard vamp. Remember, Rule Number 13: No one gets out alive. Merov called out Kazzam. Except he called out everyone. He said some shit and the vamps threw themselves on the ground in fucking terror. I kinda looked at him, wondering what the fuck he was playing at, when Kazzam ran the fuck away.

I went after him. Arrowed his head to a board and then brought him back. The weirdo vamp Merov had brought with us, the one had interrogated on the roof top, who, turned out, Merov had promised a cure to in exchange for help, began to stab the body. I cut his head off. Cure delivered.

Curtis arrived with Maeve and the hostages. I guess blowing the building up would've killed them. I wanted to kill the rest of the Amber Vamps, wipe out the nest, but Curtis and Merov wanted to go. It's important to have the appropriate amount of alcohol after a kill. Curtis knew this well. And Merov invited us to his place.

Turns out his cottage is a mansion a short flight away by helicopter. Rich people. I suddenly remembered Curtis mentioning a dude who took him on a helicopter and the wicked weekend they had. Must've been Merov. Gross. But whatever gets my roomie off, I guess.

Merov. He played me. The entire ride to his 'cottage' I could feel the anger brewing inside me. He had used me as effectively as I would've threatened someone with a rocket launcher. I was there to be his meat. The weapon. To make his reputation. All those times he'd ask me questions after a hunt on his balcony, it was just to get him where he needed to get. He had started a dangerous game and I had opened the door to him.

That was ending. Now.



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