In Which A Sickness Stirs Inside

Dear Diary,

There was a meeting at the high school in the sound room. All the monsters were there, including me. Leanne’s at our school again, not really sure why or what she wants. Chantel says she has her under control but whatever. You can’t control someone like Leanne. She’s probably just here to watch us all burn.

Dean was there. Ardath too. Vincent wasn’t. That’s good. He’s normal now. It needs to stay that way. The meeting didn’t go great. No one really agreed, from what I heard. I can’t seem to stay focused anymore. Everytime people start talking to me about things I should care about, it’s like this fog descends and I’m left feeling like I can’t bring myself out of it. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m just done. I feel done. Like something’s coming to an end no matter what I do.

After the meeting, Caleb talked to Chantel and I went off to talk to Ardath. I wanted Leanne gone. I wanted her dead and gone before she could hurt more of us. It was such a sudden feeling of anger I knew I had to do something about it or else it would just eat away inside of me and I’d end up hurting someone else. I don’t know where the anger comes from. It just consumes me.

As I went to talk to Ardath, Chantel grabbed me and asked if I had the necklace Vincent had given me. It hadn’t been destroyed in the banishing act so I said yeah. She asked for it. Everything inside me told me not to give it to her, but I didn’t want her to see me hesitate. It was better if everyone thought I hated Vincent. Even him.

So I gave her the necklace. I can’t imagine what she’ll do with it. I felt like I was giving away a part of me. But it was only for a second and it just seemed to fuel the fire inside me. Elliot never said there’d be rage like this. Chantel mentioned he was a hunter before. A smart person would talk to him about it. But fuck it. I’m tired of asking for help.

Listen