Dear Diary,
I sat in the back of an
ambulance with the guy I loved more than anything and did the only thing I
could think of. I called his blood sucking mom to ask for help. For all I knew,
Chantel was still in the other realm with Leanne, Caleb was probably with the
cops still, and Israel was probably in jail for shooting… people. My mom was
dying in another ambulance. I had no one left I knew except the troll and Vincent’s
mom. So I grabbed his phone and called her.
She said everything that would
make the situation worse. She told me I didn’t belong with him. That I was too
weak. That if I wanted something done I should do it myself, figure out how to
help him or not. She was just proving over and over again that I didn’t belong
with him at all. With every word the reality of what she was saying became more
and more obvious. That I was just a human playing in the games of the
supernatural. I wasn’t welcome. I was just another toy to be tossed around.
Choking back tears I hung up on
her and put the phone back in his pocket. I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t
bring myself to hold the hand of the man who had stabbed my own family. I had
released Robin Red Cap to bring hell down on Ardath’s head for sleeping with
her. What could I do when it was Vincent? Could I find myself doing anything at
all? Tears kept falling down my cheeks as I cried at his side, touching the
padding of the gurney, an inch from his fingers. I wanted to take comfort in
him but we were so far away from each other.
After we went through emerge
and they pulled my mom into surgery, I found Vincent’s room again. It was a
private room, of course. His mom said she was abandoning him but somehow I
thought she couldn’t let him go. But maybe it was his wealth. My tears had
stopped running and all I could do was sit there and look at him. Even broken
and bruised he was still incredible looking. I felt the slow tug at my heart,
the whisper and begging for me to make the wrong decision. To walk over to his
bed, take his hand, kiss his knuckles and whisper soft words of comfort to his
sleeping self.
The heart monitor beeped every
few seconds to create a soft rhythm in the room as I decided to sit far away
from him. From my own bag I pulled this diary and pen. And then I wrote to him.
My heart was racing ahead of me as I wrote the words down. As I told him all
the truths that needed to be said but I knew I would never be able to tell him.
Everything had changed that day. He had tried to destroy my family. And he
would tell me when he woke up it would be because he was trying to find me.
Less than five hours after he
had told me he was glad I had blocked Samael out he would be trying to kill my
mom. A choking sound came out of my throat as I wrote the words on the page.
Tears stained it here and there. I had tried so hard to be there for him, but I
just couldn’t be. I couldn’t be the girl he needed. Not now. His mother was
right. We shouldn’t be together at all. He needed someone strong and clever who
could help him defeat the curse. Not the moron crying in the corner.
Finally
I finished writing the letter I wished I’d never have to write. I folded it up
and pulled his bag of personal effects out from under his bed and pulled out
the journal he was always writing in. We were so much alike in some ways. I
flipped it open to the last entry and placed the letter inside. I stood there
for what felt like forever, making the final decision. All I would have to do
is wait for him to wake up. Wait for him to open his beautiful eyes and then it
would be over forever.
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