Dear Diary,
Vincent had pulled me into
an elevator. An elevator that had just happened to open in the middle of a
field where I was standing. Of course, in a normal world, that wouldn't even be
possible. In this world, my boyfriend had the power of a demon behind him. A
demon he had promised to not talk to anymore. A demon he had promised not to
make deals with anymore.
I looked straight at him
and asked how dare he call on Samael to find me. We fought. We yelled and
argued. He kept saying that he promised to protect me and that he would do
anything, and he meant anything, to keep that promise. I pointed out that he
couldn't expect me to stand around while a werewolf, an angel, whatever monster
Ardath was, and his own Samael came out to play. I mean, that mix was a death
trap for each other let alone for me. I hate feeling this helpless. I hate
feeling so weak. I hate watching them all just hurt each other.
Vincent didn't seemed
convinced. And then he said the thing that almost won him the argument. He said
he loved me. Maybe if I wasn't so pissed I would have cared more. I would have
told him I loved him too. I just couldn't let go that he had made another deal
with Samael all because of how weak he thought I was. I told him I wouldn't be
his excuse. I wouldn't be his scapegoat. That if he went to Samael, it was his
own fault and he couldn't blame me for his own stupid decisions.
And then he kept saying the
sweetest things. His eyes were so wounded, and he just looked so miserable and
sad. He had said he loved me and I was treating him like shit because of
something I couldn't control. Because of another thing I just would never
really understand, because I just wasn't one of them. And I felt awful. All the
rage in me, all the anguish just kind of left and I felt exhausted and raw. He
convinced me to come to the room with him, and I let him lead the way. On the
way, I blew the dust on him. The tattoo disappeared. Samael was gone.
We walked into the room
together and I collapsed in a bit of a wreck on the bed. We talked. I had
fallen calmed down enough to see that I hadn't really left him with much
choice. I was too unstable to be a good girlfriend to him. I was too ready to
run and hide and he would always come looking for me. For his sake, I had to
learn to stay with them when danger came. I just couldn't think of what had
happened with Loki anymore. I had to think about Vincent. And that he had just
given part of his life to come find me, even though I was perfectly safe.
But I stopped worrying
about it when he started to kiss me. For the first time since school had
started after spring break, I felt suddenly safe and warm. His hands were in
mine and then on me, and we were falling into the bed together. I told him I
loved him. Because I do. I would do anything for him, anything to try to save
him from Samael and himself. He told me I was his world and I believed him.
Then we finally let the world fade away. We let ourselves stop worrying about
everything and were just with each other. I've never been with someone where it
was so intense and perfect before. I was so lost in him, in the two of us
together, that I didn't think of anything else besides the feel of him.
We spent a short time after
laughing and talking about what was happening. The fact that his mom was a
vampire. That she didn't like me and that he didn't care how she felt. But it
was the first night I managed to sleep through without any nightmares. I didn't
wake up screaming or crying or shaking. I didn't know I could feel so safe with
someone. I guess that's what love means. It means you'd do anything, be
anything, for one person, even if it meant dying. And they're everything to
you.
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